@ teaching a 2 years toddler

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- What to expect at this age
Human beings are prewired to be empathetic, at least to some extent: Research shows that when one infant in a nursery cries, those who cry along tend to grow up to have the most empathy. (So take heart the next time your baby starts wailing the minute your preschooler breaks down in tears.) Still, 2-year-olds, as any parent knows, are not models of selfless, generous behavior. "They're not developmentally capable of understanding empathy," says Jane Nelsen, a child therapist and co-author of Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. "But this doesn't mean you shouldn't keep teaching it to them. If your 2-year-old hits her sister, for instance, you can say, 'It hurts when you hit people. Here's how you touch nicely. How does that feel?' At some point your words will kick in — just expect it to take a while."

What you can do:

1) Label the feeling.
Begin by putting a name to your child's behavior, so she can recognize emotions. Say, "Oh, you're being so kind," when your 2-year-old kisses your hurt finger. She'll learn from your reaction that her responsiveness is recognized and valued. She needs to recognize negative emotions, too, so don't be afraid to calmly point out when she's being less than caring. Try saying, "It made your baby brother really sad when you grabbed his rattle. What could you do to help him feel better?"

2) Praise empathetic behavior.
When your child performs an act of kindness, tell her what she did right, and be as specific as possible: "You were very generous to share your teddy bear with your baby brother! That made him happy. See how he's smiling?"

3) Encourage your 2-year-old to talk about her feelings — and yours.
Let her know that you care about her feelings by listening intently. Look her in the eye when she talks to you, and paraphrase what she says. When she shouts, "Hooray!" for example, respond with "Oh, you're feeling happy today." She may not know how to answer if you ask her why, but she'll have no problem talking about "feeling happy." Similarly, share your own feelings with her: "I feel sad that you hit me. Let's think of another way you could tell me you don't want to wear those shoes." She'll learn that her actions affect others, a tough concept for small children to grasp.

4) Point out other people's behavior.
Teach your child to notice when someone else has behaved kindly. Try saying, "Remember that lady at the grocery store, the one who helped us pick up our food when I dropped the bag? She was really nice to us, and she made me feel better when I was upset." By doing this, you reinforce your 2-year-old's understanding of how people's actions can affect others emotionally. Books also provide good examples, so ask your child how she thinks the lost puppy in one story is feeling, or why the little girl in another is smiling. Tell her how you'd feel if you were one of those characters, and ask how she'd react. These discussions will help her learn about other people's emotions and relate them to her own.

5) Teach basic rules of politeness.
Good manners are a concrete way for your child to show caring and respect for others. As soon as your child can communicate verbally, she can begin to say "please" and "thank you." Explain that you're more inclined to help her when she's polite to you, and that you don't like it when she orders you around. Of course, being polite to her is worth a thousand rules and explanations. Say "please" and "thank you" regularly to your child and to others, and she'll learn that these phrases are part of normal communication, both at home and out in public.

6) Don't use anger to control your child.
Though it's easy to get upset when your 2-year-old whacks her baby brother, try not to use anger as a tool to manage her behavior. Teaching by instruction and example is much more effective, especially at this age. "When you say, 'I'm really mad at you,' children shut down and withdraw," says Jerry L. Wyckoff, a psychologist and coauthor of Twenty Teachable Virtues. "Instead, show your child empathy." Rather than getting angry, take a moment to calm yourself down. Then say firmly, "I know you were mad, but you shouldn't hit your brother. That hurt him, and it made me sad. Please tell him you're sorry."

7) Give your child small jobs.
Research suggests that children who learn responsibility also learn altruism and caring. Two-year-olds love performing small tasks, and some jobs, such as feeding pets, teach empathy especially well, particularly when you pile on the praise for a job well done: "Look how Rover's wagging his tail! You're being so nice to him. He's really happy you're giving him his dinner."

8) Set a good example.
Acts of kindness and charity are an excellent way to teach your child empathy. Bring her along when you're taking a meal to a sick neighbor or a friend with a new baby. Let her help you pack the bag of clothes to take to the local charity. You can explain very simply that sometimes people are sick or don't have enough food or clothing, and so they need the help of the people around them.

=> actuallynye, Kaisah memiliki most of the EQ... why do I say that?... not to praise her tapi ia adalah hakikat especially when it comes to disturbing me when I am sleeping, dia ada a sense of understanding yang mana apabila ibu tidur usah diganggu... kalau time Kaisah nak menyusu lagik kesian hubby kata... Kaisah siap tanya hubby dulu bole kejut ibunya ini atau tidak... alahai anakku... (confirm dia takut nak kejut sebab kadang-kadang ibu Kaisah and Thaqif memarahinya sebab masih nak menetek maa... penat sangat dan sampai sakit tulang belakang dah ni...)
=> ibu love both of you, Nur Alif Kaisah and Muhammad Alif Thaqif with all my heart...

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